Jaded
by only.a.word.some.days
Summary: a sasusaku oneshot. when Sasuke cheats, there just might be a bit more to it. better inside, you can decide if its ooc or not, i cant decide.  rated t not really anything bad in it. im pretty sure thats right :


Jaded

**Ok. This just came to me, but it's pretty late right now, so idk when I'll finish it and get it up, and the idea sorta made me cry, but it does get better. Im gonna try to keep it short. But who knows if that will actually happen. Im putting it up unedited like everything else. Sorry, but im to tired to read it again.**

One month. It had been an entire month. Why is it I fell for Sasuke Uchiha so quickly, but it's been a month since the bastard broke my heart, and I still can't get him out of my head? It's not fair. He's in my classes, he's in my head, and as much as I hate to admit it, he still holds his place firmly in my heart. And I hate him for it...

Well that's a lie. I don't hate him. I'm not sure I can ever hate him. But I do hate how much I love him. Why couldn't I have been the strong one? The powerful one? You know, the one that cares less in the relationship has the most power. I didn't even see it coming. We had been together for 14 months. And then one month ago, I caught Sasuke Uchiha, with Karin, doing a lot more than talking. Unless you talk with your mouths together anyway.

I had never been cheated on. I always figured girls who cried over cheaters were just stupid. I mean really, obviously the guy was an asshole and you should have seen in coming. And now the girl should just be happy she's out of the bad relationship, right? Well, I guess I was a fool to think it could be that simple.

We were incredibly happy. Or so I thought. He said he loved me! Sasuke Uchiha, the man with no emotion looked straight into my eyes and told me he loved me. Obviously he's the best liar I've ever seen. After all, it sure looked like he meant it. I never knew it was possible to fake such realness, such emotion. But he did. And thinking back to it, shatters every part of me all over again. After all, I didn't just loose the jerk who cheated on me, or my boyfriend. I lost my best friend to the girl I hate.

We were meeting at a party. I promised Ino I would drive with her, after all we were senior girls with boyfriends, we had to have a little fun by ourselves. We were going to hang out with Sasuke and Shikamaru once we got there. Which worked well for Ino. The laziest kid in our school actually got up and made an effort to greet his girlfriend. Surprisingly to me however, Sasuke wasn't anywhere to be found. When I asked where he was, everyone pointed to the kitchen, and I followed the various fingers. I still don't know if I should consider it a bad idea I did or not. Because that's when I saw them. Karin and Sasuke. Kissing. Each other. When he was dating ME.

When I got close enough I saw them break apart. Karin looked happy. She wore a smirk that screamed satisfaction. Not that I'm surprised. The look on my face was probably one for the books, and besides she got the one thing every girl wanted. She stole Sasuke Uchiha, Konaha Academy's number one hottie.

Anger, sorrow. I don't remember which one hit first. Though I don't really care. Either way, tomorrow is Monday again, and I have to go back to school. Where I face everyone's eyes and whispers. Its's been one month, and Sasuke Uchiha has ruined my life. But the absolute best part is, no one cares. The great Uchiha cheated, and no one cares, where as I lost him, I got hurt, and everyone laughs. These kids are sick.

I tried to sleep, I need it if im going to deal with everyone again, but its hard to when the tears keep forcing my eyes open.

When morning came I pulled myself out of bed, showered and through on my uniform. Today I even brushed my hair. Only a recent improvement. I just didn't have the energy to look good anymore, it wasn't in me.

The way to school was a blur. Again. I don't even know for sure how I ended up at my locker, but that doesn't really matter. I traded out my books and headed to class. Entering first period I was a given a rude awakening when I realized I had that class with Sasuke. And Karin.

It's not normally as bad as you would think. After all, one of the many things that doesn't make sense, why aren't they together? I mean Karin is all over him, but I never see him even noticing her. He usually pushes her away come to think of it. If he was dumping me for her than wouldn't he be all over her? I don't know anymore. We never even officially broke up, but if he cheats on me, that means it's like an automatic thing right? Ugh! This is why normal couples have closure dammit!

I pushed the thought out of my head and continued to march to my seat, ignoring all of the prying eyes. The first two weeks I was a total mess. I kept my head down and came close to crying ever couple minutes. By the third week I started getting angry. Why do all these people care? Don't any of them have lives? Guess not.

When I sat down I didn't focus on anyone around me until a thick shadow came over my seat. I looked up and saw Karin smirking down at me. And with her was Sasuke, pulling his arm out of her grip and desperately avoiding all eye contact. Of course she's proud. What a...a...well, for lack of a better word a whore! Seriously, who celebrates being the other woman? That's twisted in its own way.

I looked her in the eye, a bored expression placed on my face. I could try to hide how ready I was to cry for as long as possible. "Hey forehead." her index finger was poised to poke my forehead, but I didn't let that phase me until just before she made contact with my skin. I grabbed her finger and squeezed. I saw her face twist in pain but I didn't stop. I know I've always been one to show mercy, but when you get tormented for years, and then she pulls something like this, well she deserves pain. I even ignored her whimpers and finished pulling my book out of my bag while she began squealing about how Sasuke needed to help her.

He didn't though. Im not sure if he didn't feel like it or I just started talking again before he could, but when I looked up I made sure to only make eye contact with Karin. "Listen Karin," the sentence started sugary sweet, but as it extended you could hear some of the anger seeping through my words. "Keep your dirty hands away from me." I through her finger back with enough force to make her stumble back a little.

I figured after that she would just go back to her seat. I was wrong of course. I mean that would have been easy. Instead she found it wise to speak again. "Well Sakura is someone a little bitter, suck it up, and maybe you could hold onto a man." she started laughing, and I saw Sasuke about to say something, but before he could I stood up.

By now everyone was staring. I had my bag on my back and my book in my hand, "Karin...go fuck yourself." and I was serious. If she really loved herself that much then go for it. I then turned to Sasuke, "and you...just save it. Maybe for the next girl you cheat on." he looked so broken when I left I almost felt bad. But I didn't deserve to. Not anymore.

I left the class and went back to my car. I sat and thought about whether or not I needed to go back to class. What did it matter. Its my senior year and I have above a 90% in every one of my classes. Screw it. I went home. All the way back to my house, and I dove into my bed, still clad in my uniform, shoes and all.

I heard my mom, but I didn't move. She was rather supportive of me, but she didn't really know the whole story. She knew I was upset and figured it was Sasuke, but I couldn't tell them what happened. Some part of my refused to let them know not only how terrible he really was, but how stupid and weak I was. I didn't want them to know, because part of me still believed it wasn't true. And part of me was ashamed to show them how idiotic I am. How could I not have known. Every girl wanted him. It was only a matter of time before he finally picked one over me.

And don't even bring up the possibility of there being more then one, because I really can't take that stress too. Anyway, my mom came in and sat on my bed. "What's wrong sweetie?" she was so nice, maybe I would tell her. I mean she would understand. She would take my side. So I did, every bit of it. When I was done she didn't say anything for a while. Just before I spoke again she talked over me. "Get up and I know what you need." that's all she said before she headed down stairs. I followed, slightly curious of where we would be going, and slightly scared at the same time.

She jingled the keys before pulling my outside and shoving me into the car.

When I looked up to the big building in front of me I realized it was a salon and spa. This could be interesting. My mom dragged me through the doors and right up to the very peaceful looking woman at the counter. "This is my daughter Sakura. And she just got her heart broken." that was all she had to say before the woman looked at me with worried eyes and then called someone to whisk me away to a small room where I was commanded to change.

When I left the spa that day, I felt different in a lot of ways. My face was smooth, my skin was soft, and my nails shined in the light. I looked up into the mirror again. Oh and my hair. Well that was different to. Because my normal waist length hair, that was parted down the middle and always a bit wavy at the tips, had evolved when a platinum blonde miracle worker approached me. She chopped it to just below my shoulders and edged it out. She parted it a little to the side and cut in sharp bangs that framed my face and highlighted my eyes. It was blown straight, and I had never looked better. I smiled for the first time in a month. I loved the new me.

That's when my mom came in with a worried look on her face. "What is it mom? You don't like it?"

"Oh no sweetie I think its amazing, I wish we tried something like this earlier, but you look magnificent. I just..."

"You just what?"

She took a deep breath and looked at me, "are you sure he really cheated?" WHAT. Is she kidding me. I explained exactly what I saw. Of course he cheated, what else could it have been. "Well honey, are you sure maybe you saw things wrong or, maybe there was a misunderstanding, or maybe it wasn't him." what is wrong with her. He CHEATED on me, and she is taking his side too. I was getting angry at this point. Angry at my mother, angry at Karin, angry at Sasuke, and even angry at myself now. I hated this. My emotions were out of wack, and everyone was against me. I stormed out of the bathroom and right into my room. I locked my door, but I still heard my mom yell to me through the wood. "All im saying is get his side of the story. When he looked at you, the day before that party, I could see the love in his eyes. Just don't make any mistakes. That's all I was trying to say."

I heard her footsteps fade, but I still whispered back as if she were there and could hear me. "Then why didn't he try to fix it. Why didn't he chase me." and I started to cry again. But before I fell asleep I pulled out my clothes from my closet. My uniform laid out nicely next to my bed, and tomorrow, I think I'll wear my nice shoes. The ones with a little bit of a heel. They don't make me any taller than anyone else really, but I feel good. I whipped my eyes. I was gonna be strong this time. When sleep overcame me I fell asleep smiling, as I thought of ways to make Karin so miserable she would wear more clothes to try to fade away from the school. Which I'm pretty sure we would all appreciate.

When I woke up, it wasn't to my alarm. The sky was still black, but that's the best I was going to get. Sleep was a privilege now. Thanks to him. But I wasn't letting that get to me, not this time. I showered and dressed, and when I got to my kitchen it was 5:30 a.m. You've got to be kidding. I went to my bathroom and looked at the make up I hadn't used in a while. I stared at the mascara and remembered when Sasuke had said he like it once. How it made my eyes so much brighter. Then he said he liked me without makeup too though, so it didn't matter. Should I have noticed by how indecisive he was? Probably not, that wasn't really surprising for boys.

I opened the tube, and coated my lashes. Maybe...

I did my make up. I put more on than I used to. I looked even better then yesterday. I didn't need much make up. Especially not after the spa, but I made sure I looked killer, because I planned on turning heads. I deserved to hear good things being said by everyone. This break up wasn't gonna affect me any longer. Sure, I missed him like hell, and hated myself for it, but I was gonna cover it up so well, you would think I dumped him.

I made tea and left for school. Once I got there I parked my car, and made sure to lock it and set the alarm before I entered the school. I straightened my skirt, adjusted my bag and put my head up high. Show time.

I burst through the doors, and everything else seemed to go in slow motion. I saw people turn my way and double take. I smirked. As I marched down the hall every head turned my way, and the whispering stopped. Everyone just stared, my shoes hit the floor in a light beat as I sipped past them all. A few mouths dropped just before I heard everyone start saying my name.

I did my combination quickly, and opened my locker to grab my history text book. First period...lets try topping yesterday shall we?

I walked in to the room and like every other day everyone stopped to look, only today, when they stared it was in awe, and I just flipped my hair behind me and scanned everyone to make sure Karin was looking. She was, and she wasn't happy. Typical mean girl, something is wrong when the attention has moved on. I sat in my seat, my skirt came up a bit when I crossed my legs, but I didn't focus on that. Though all of the boys seemed to be. I pulled out my book again. Just like yesterday. After all a new hair cut doesn't change who you are.

The seat next to me was pulled out and a strange boy was sitting in it. Just watching me. "Do you want something?" I asked without looking at him. I just flipped the page in my latest novel. That thought ended however when I saw the boys hand slam down on my book, shutting it in the process and losing my page. Oh he was gonna get it. I turned and saw Sasuke glaring at me with eyes brushed with red. That only happened when he was really angry.

Why would he be angry? "Are you just parading around like that!" the malice in his voice was hard to miss, even through gritted teeth. I just raised my eyebrow.

"Excuse me. But that was my book."He grabbed my book and through it to the other side of the room. Everyone was watching us again. Oh well, this time, im willing to give them the show they deserve. "Im sorry Uchiha -sama, but do we have a problem?"

"Don't call me that." he growled out.

"Don't call you that? Well what would you like me to call you Sasuke. How about dirty cheater? Or lying bastard? Or better yet, the boy who plans on staying far away from me?" I kept my voice calm.

He didn't. "Sakura_"

"Don't Sakura me. I don't know why your mad, but im sure you deserve it." that one even hurt to say. I hated the agitation in his eyes. The very eyes that once looked at me with pure love. And all of a sudden it didn't hurt as much. "You know very well im not parading around like anything. Im wearing my uniform correctly, and I haven't hurt anybody, unlike your girlfriend over there."

"She's_"

"Sorry Uchiha, but it's my time to talk. You don't have any say anymore. Because I control my life, and your not in it anymore."

I saw a lot of the anger drain and he looked down, so dysphoric, but what did it matter? He was getting exactly what he deserved. I stood up and looked at everyone watching us. Too bad, neither of us liked very public matters, but he started it. So I plan on finishing it. I walked over to the other side of the room where he had thrown my book. I noticed it on the ground next to a boys foot. Hm... Sasuke thought he still owned me. Well he's got another thing coming. I saw him look over at us, so I leaned over the boys desk a bit, resting my elbows on it putting my face a little closer than I would normally. "Do you mind picking that up for me." he immediately grabbed my book and placed it gently in my hands. His eyes were still wide when I winked and thanked him. I slung my bag over one shoulder and waved at the class before I left.

As I walked out the door I saw Kakashi entering the room. He seemed confused, but allowed me to leave. He knew I had been miserable lately, so he let me go.

What I didn't expect was for footsteps to be approaching me so quickly. I turned to see Sasuke jogging down the halls after me. Now that was a sight to see. Not that I planned on sticking around to finish seeing it.

When he grabbed my wrist I was surprised by how gentle it was. He started pulling me to the stairs that led to the roof. Oh no. I would go anywhere rather than the roof right now. We had history up there. We used to sneak up there almost everyday. I haven't walked up these stairs in the last month. I let him pull me because I didn't trust myself enough to speak. He dragged me to the normal spot where we would just sit and laugh. I hated being reminded of those days all over again.

When he turned to me, I saw sincerity in his eyes, "I didn't do it."

"What?" it was difficult to understand when my throat was chocked with my sobs, just waiting to come out. But he always managed to.

"I never cheated on you Sakura. I don't know what you heard, but I didn't"

He...he had to be lying. It was all that made sense. I saw him do it. "Really, because I saw it with my own to eyes. I didn't hear anything."

He was a bit shocked, but I just watched as he tried to get the right words, "what do you mean you saw?"

"You were in the another room, with your tongue down Karin's throat. I SAW it. Remember, you were meeting me at that party? Or did you just get me mixed up with your other girlfriend." I was mad again. Absolutely sick of lies.

"You don't understand_"

"No, I understand just fine. What I want to know, is why in the world would you pick Karin? The one girl I truly hated. The one girl you knew more than anything I really couldn't stand? Was I not good enough, was I not worth it? Answer me Sasuke!" I was sick of going without answers.

"Sakura I never cheated on you, you have to listen. I was drunk and I saw the hair and I thought it was you, by the time I realized it was too late. I had already kissed her. I was to drunk to realize it felt wrong. Please you have to believe me Sakura. "

I started to cry a little. "No. I don't. You made me suffer for a month, because why? If what you are saying is true you would have tried to explain before now. You wouldn't be walking around with Karin, and you wouldn't have let her get away with what she did! I know you! Or at least I thought I did." the last one was just above a whisper, but I couldn't be blamed when I could feel my emotions streaming down my face. It wasn't fair, why didn't men ever cry?

"I wanted to, I was just...scared."

"What are you talking about?" that was ridiculous. Sasuke Uchiha didn't get scared.

"Im a coward Sakura! I was to terrified to approach you. I thought I would just make it worse, and I wasn't gonna make you cry anymore. It took me seven months just to ask you out! And yesterday, I was going to say something, but you told me to save it. And then you left. Next thing I know you come in looking absolutely amazing, and everyone is staring at you." he started to clench his fists and growled a bit as he continued, "all of the boys were watching you and I just couldn't take it. Sakura_"

"Let me guess, you like what you see and now you want it back? Please Uchiha, there are plenty of prettier girls at this school that are falling all over you."

"No there isn't I never wanted them. I only want you, I only ever wanted you, and you're the only one I still want. I hate Karin. You know that, why would I ever kiss her on purpose?"

"You seemed fine when she was galloping around attached to your arm."

"I never was ok with that. I tried to get her off_" he was interrupted by the second period bell.

"Sasuke, just keep it to yourself. You had a chance to explain yourself_"

"Please Sakura let me finish_"

"No! You had a chance Sasuke!" by now the tears were back. "You broke my heart, and you made me wait a month, you made me suffer a month, before you even tried to lie to make me feel better! How about you suffer this time! Stop only thinking about yourself." he opened his mouth to retort, but I beat him to it. "I don't wanna hear it. I need to get to class."

And that is where I left the great Sasuke Uchiha. The boy who couldn't be broken. The almighty emotionless man. I left him dejected and alone on the roof of our school, thinking about what he had lost. I was still hurt. I would cry for hours, but for every girl who ever got cheated on. I hope they can have the courage to do what I just did.

I went back home again. Skipping school wasn't my style, but I made sure to leave a voice mail for my mom telling her I was skipping today, but would make sure to got back for the full day tomorrow. After that, I simply stated my reasoning. "I got my closure." and then I snapped my phone shut. Once in my car I saw a not stuck in my windshield.

You suffered a month, I'll suffer so munch longer. Until you forgive me. - S

I grabbed the note and stuffed it in my bag.

The next day I found a similar note in my locker.

And the next day.

And the next day.

Everyday for two months I was given letters. Some apologizing, some explaining. Others just letting me know he thought about me. Prom was coming up, and today I found the note on the back of one of the many fliers. It read.

Sakura, I can't stop thinking about you. Please forgive me soon. My grades are dropping. If you won't go with me to the senior prom, at least meet me there. Tell me face to face that it is over, and I promise I'll leave you alone. - S

I read the note a few more times before I stuffed it in my book and smiled. What can I say. I was in love with him still. But part of me was still afraid to trust him. I hadn't seen him with anyone at school, and he has been seriously avoiding any and all parties, but what if I was still wrong. I had every letter stuffed in a shoe box in my closet, the only people who have seen them were my mother, and my best friend Ino Yamanka. Speaking of which, blonde was on her way over to me. "So any new note?" she said as she came up next to me. She was kidding. She always was. The notes came everyday and she knew I always grabbed it and then hid it before anyone else could see them. I handed her the next one and she squealed before handing it back, "if you don't go out with him again your just going to stay miserable. I mean who else would you rather go with? The other pervs around here." she looked around quickly as if scanning the area for safety from said pervs.

"Please Ino, he could just be lying."

She gave me one of her looks. "Your right, cause every guy who is lying would totally waste two months stuffing hand written notes in your locker and sneaking loving glances at you. Your right, there is absolutely no way the boy likes you. It must be a trick."

"Ok, ok it sounds stupid, but look at all the other guys around here who wouldn't cheat on me."

"They just want your body and you know it."

Yeah I kinda knew it. I've been staying with my new style, and a lot of guys have been turning their attention towards me lately. Especially since everyone is trying to get a date to prom. "Fine, I'll meet him at prom. But I don't know what I'll tell him yet.

Me and Ino went dress shopping that afternoon, and when prom came around I curled my hair and left it down. Ino made my eyes look smokey and mysterious, and when I entered prom I had my head held high. I walked down the beautiful walkway to get to the rest of my peers. When I walked in everyone faced me, and I smiled a little. I noticed Sasuke staring at me with hopeful eyes. I wasted no time making it to him, and all he managed was a "wow."

"Wow yourself." I could be nice for now. After all, I was in love with the guy...still.

"Can I have this dance?"

"No...but lets get out of here"

He nodded and followed me out. We ended up back at school. On the roof again. We looked up into the night sky with all the twinkling stars and stayed like that for a while before he finally spoke again. "So...can I have _this_ dance?" he smirked a little.

"Yes" and I smiled when he wrapped me in his arms like it was the last time he would ever hold me.

I placed my hands around his neck and swayed with him, even without the music. "Sakura," he whispered in my ear, "I never cheated on you. I really need you to believe that. I never_"

"I know." his face lit up just a bit before he tightened his hold on me again.

"Can you_"

"Take you back?"

He hesitated before he shifted his head so it fit perfectly in the crook of my neck and answered with a, "please?"

I whispered back, "yes..."

I felt him loosen his arms without letting go. He stepped back a little to look me in the eyes. "Can I_"

"Kiss me? Yeah"

And he did. He kissed me with so much passion and emotion that I swear the world stopped. I found it hard to hold onto his shoulders, and when I felt his tongue lick my bottom lip begging for entrance I allowed it. We battled it out there until I started to feel my knees buckle, and Sasuke had to back me against the wall for support.

I don't really know how long we were like that before we split for air, but it felt like hours. He refused to let me go, and I was ok with that.

We spent the rest of the night talking, sharing, and kissing. A lot of kissing. And Sasuke made sure that I was positive he never cheated on me. And I was at that point. He dropped me off at my house a little after midnight, and we kissed again. This time more powerful than all of the others. If that was even possible. Just before I got out of his car he slipped me one last note. I waited until I got upstairs and locked the door before I opened it.

Sakura Haruno. I love you with everything I am. Be mine forever. Now look out your window. - S

I opened my curtains and saw the great Sasuke Uchiha standing in my front yard, holding a sign I didn't believe he would ever write to me. The flashlight shining on it created a small glare, but I could still make out the scribbled letters of:

Sakura will you marry me one day? - S

I used my breath to fog up part of my window before I managed to write 'yes' so he could read it.

When he made out the letters I watched him smile at me and surprisingly enough he jumped around a little with all the extra energy. I smiled back and watched him get back in his car.

Soon after I got a text, 'I really do love you...Sakura Uchiha'

I locked the message before I fell asleep. Gown and all.

**Well thats over. So uh...review! Cause that would be really awesome! It doesn't take very long, and you can tell me if it sucked. It wont upset me...too much. also keep in mind ladies this story does not mean that when you catch your bf kissing someone else that it is entirely her fault, and that he didn't really cheat on you. be stong girls.**


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